


Solitude & Jack Daniel's

by vierana



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 15:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18318269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vierana/pseuds/vierana
Summary: Originally this was meant for Stargate Drabbels week 7 - Solitude.But I got caught in a flow of writing and it turned out much longer than it was supposed to be.It is a Daniel & Vala lovestory, allthough not a happy one. I hope you enjoy it anyway.





	Solitude & Jack Daniel's

Undoubtedly Vala could see the concerning looks her girlfriends gave each other when she downed another shot. And she didn’t care at all. They were the ones who talked her into clubbing tonight, even though she wasn’t in mood, what by the way she had told them like a hundred times. So now they had to live with the result. 

“Ok, how about we take a break and have a dance?”

“You can go.” She waved off. “I stay right here and have another one of this very ironic Jack Daniel’s shots.”

Usually she was the one dragging everybody on the dancefloor but today it was difficult for her acting like the happy and flirty Vala everybody knew. She barely knew herself. She really tried showing honest interest in her friends topics and here and there she even added a funny comment, not making it look to obvious that she actually felt terrible inside.

How was it even possible feeling such an indescribable overwhelming solitude, while being surrounded by her best friends in a crowded place like that?

“Bring me another two of these” she gestured the waiter, after the rest of the group had left for dancing. Only Sam stayed with her. Drowning her sorrows, was definitely the best idea for now, Vala thought. She never experienced such a deep loneliness before. Love was a horrible feeling when being separated from the other person.

“Are you really doing fine?”

“Of course.” She forced a fake smile. “You know me, nothing can beat me down that quick. It’s ok, it’s not like we were in love or something.”

_ Oh, what a lie. _

“Are you sure? I mean, I know what you’re going through. I’ve been sitting in the same boat as well. Daniel was…” Sam sighted. “I mean, he is a very good friend of mine and I miss him too. But I am sure he’s fine wherever he is. It’s not the first time he disappeared and came back, out of the nowhere. Trust me, sooner or later Daniel will find his way home. He’s smart and strong, you know.” Sam smiled at Vala, while touching her hand gently.

“What you’re trying is very sweet, but really, I am ok. Sure, I miss him as a friend and I’m truly hoping he is ok. Beside that, it’s no a big deal.”  _ Another huge lie. _

 

After she downed the two ordered shots, she got up, straightened her black long sleeved dress, which was almost too short to cover her buttocks.

“Excuse me for a sec, Jacky’s running right through and tries to find his way out again.” She pointed in the toilet’s direction.

Wow! Maybe she shouldn’t have gotten the last five shots. Once on her feet the club started to spin and she had to focus damn hard not to lose balance on her perfectly matching black heel boots. Making it look like she wasn’t drunk at all while she was trying fight herself through the mass of people, failed completely, as she was stumbling more than actually walking ladylike. After some minutes of waiting she finally was able to lock herself into one of the five cabines. Well, it appeared more like a whole little bathroom. White marmor tiles on the floor and black shiny ones on the wall, the room looked much nobler than the rest of the club. Not that she cared. She barely recognized the fancy glittery 40-inch mirror, which was very unlikely for her. After washing her hands she got hit hard by noticing the empty expression in her own face. Not only the alcohol intensified the terrible feeling in her stomach. All of this was just to much.

Daniel and her just got to the point where they figured out how to manage a moderately stable relationship. They haven’t even told their friends yet. Nevertheless her feelings went deeper than she would ever admit, nor could she describe them. The only thing she knew for sure: He meant everything to her.

And now he was just gone. Never came home from a mission with SG-3. They tried everything to get in contact, with no result. Sam explained her a thousand of times, what might had happened. Either she was too stubborn to understand, or she simply wasn’t ready to face reality.  _ There must be something they could do _ . Were they even trying hard enough?

It’s been three months now without waking up next to him, noticing his smile, before he placed a soft kiss on her lips. She wasn’t about to accept that any of these would never happen again. Every second she hoped he would appear in here doorway. Even now she had the ridiculous idea, he would knock at the door of the woman’s bathroom soon. Desperation rising up in her, she couldn’t hold back her tears any longer. It was the first time, she let herself going that far.  _ Damn alcool. Damn Jack Daniel’s. _ Even the name of this bloody beverage reminded Vala of countless times they stepped through the gate next to each other.

She sunk down on the floor leaning at the tiles, buried her face into her hands and her bend knees, crying like a little helpless baby. She didn’t care about the sticky floor nor about the fact strangers knocking at the door while cursing. Closed up alone in the three per three meter room, with the others out there, she started feeling lonelier than ever.

 

“Hey?”, a soft voice let her stop sobbing  for a second.

“Look at me.”, she lifted her head. With a blurry view she noticed someone standing in the corner of the opposite side of the room. Whipping away the tears, black eyeliner and mascara smudged all over her palms. Finally she was able to recognize who it was.

“Oh great! Now I’m already such an emotional wreck, that i lost my mind and turned completely  _ wonko _ .”

She covered her face in her hands again. After some seconds she dared to look up again, hoping the imagination would have disappeared. But instead he was still standing there in his military uniform. Arms crossed in front of his chest, his head slightly tilt, while softly smiling at her.

“Don’t dare to grin. This isn’t funny at all.”  _ Great! In addition of hallucination, I am starting talking to myself now. _

“You look stunning in that dress.”

Instinctively she had to laugh. “Please don’t mess with me, Daniel.”

“I’d never dare to, Vala. I just want you to know, that I am ok. Don’t worry about me.”

“Wonderful.” Sarcasm mixed with desperation filled her voice. “You know, what would help believing you? If you really were here, taking me into your arms.”

“I am here. But…  I can’t. Not yet. I promise you, I will.”

She shook her head, being aware of how ridiculous this all sounded.

“Until that you should know, I’ll be on your side whenever you need me.”

Her mood started to turn into anger.

“Oh for crying out loud, would you please stop.” By touching her temples with her hand, she tried to get control over the increasing dizziness. She wasn’t able to distinguish between imagination and reality anymore. While closing her eyes for an instant, Daniel didn’t move. With big concern he watched her slowly calming down, before her voice turned into a unstable silent whimper.

 

“So what? Did you ascend again?!”

He remained without any reaction. Only his eyes showed an approving but also pleading look.

 

It hit her like a blow to the gut. He died.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to @xbleeple for the little but very important help ^^


End file.
